A rhythm, Oil on canvas, 87*101 (cm), 2019

I depict organic and bodily forms based on my health anxiety disorder, hypochondria. Constant physical discomfort reminds me of the symptoms I have. Especially laser eye surgery in 2014 and a near-death experience in 2018 enhanced fear about the health of my body. My obsession with protecting the body and staying healthy leads me to have a curiosity about my inner body, which I represent as winding curves in most of my works. Even though the works are derived from the worry about my health, I use light and soft colors and make non-figurative images instead of making them realistic, like anatomical imagery. In this work, I used a curved edge canvas to give a sense of bodily form. Also, I used Korean watercolors and traditional brushes on the initial layer, which helps to create upward and down flowing marks.

Including the last year of my undergraduate course, I have been depicting organic and bodily forms for some reason. What I have found is that the forms might have been derived from my health anxiety; hypochondria. Once I feel physical pain, I keep thinking of the symptoms. I assume that the obsession with protecting the body and keeping health leads to a curiosity of my inner body so that I draw winding curves. When it comes to colour, I habitually use a wide range of light tones. Otherwise, I put acrylic glitter or gold pigment to brighten things up. How does physical pain trigger to make beautiful paintings? I guess that this tendency presumably stems from my narcissistic desire to make stunning images that could be attractive to audiences and myself. Therefore, I have decided to research two notions; Hypochondria and Narcissism. Psychiatrically both of them are more or less linked to each other and also related to my unconsciousness.

Artist Painter Sooan Shin's contextual research